so I’ve been reading, still on ways to make this blog better.  and I’ve been thinking about how I’d like a new computer and that brings the reality that I need to generate more cash.  so one of my inspirations has come in the form of me wanting to and actually performing great work.  my brain has been on point!  at work and even off the clock where it’s my duty to successfully complete this ncidq certification once and for all.  so I have the most realistic study plan in order and in a little over a month I’ll be done with the exams :)

did I mention that I’ve entered a photograph in the Chicago Flower & Garden Show photography competition?  well the process of printing and re-printing then matting and of course re-matting (only one of these re-do’s is my fault) was a little stressful; but I met my deadline and starting this weekend we can all go and see my pretty pink baby on display.  why am I so excited about this, it’s hard to say but I think the simplest answer is that it feels good.  the photo makes me feel good to look at, displaying will make other people feel good and who knows what the judges will have to say but I say it’s pretty amazing the way mother nature makes us all beautiful.

but here’s the kicker:  last night my daughters attended their second meditation class with me.  neither of these have required and coercing on my part, they actually want to go. . . so shortly before the class began another woman came in with her two daughters :)  now I haven’t been one to go on a regular basis but I’ve never seen kids in class, but two weeks after my girls go there are more.  simple math and unmeasurable credit but I LOVE the way good things can influence or inspire others to do good things.

so I’m going to keep doing good, and from time to time I’ll update you with some details and even if they aren’t the same good things, I hope that you’re inspired to do some good of your own, if for no other reason because it feels “good”

in fact the only thing different about today is that I just noticed this pattern that I’ve been following for the past few weeks.  maybe it’s the extra rest from the weekend or maybe this is the mind trip that makes coping so much easier but in any case I’m thinking that this is a good thing.  I’ve been doing some things and once they become official I’ll surely share but I have to tell you that it feels good, this whole “Empowerment Monday” thing that I’ve got going on.  when I figure out the secret I’ll let you know what it is but I can tell you, it’s not the 925.

be well, and I mean really well from the inside out
~de

I’ll be quiet just a little while longer before I embark on being the blogger I want to be.

1. clean up your spirit. if you are walking around with negativity, hate, insecurities or general unhappiness it lingers just like perfume, except this one turns people off.  take however long it takes to find peace and that will be what your aura reflects, and it’s far more attractive than that other stuff.
2. fix yourself.  I don’t say this because I think that you need to be perfect, I say this because YOU think that you need to be perfect and so long as you do that too will be obvious to any man who takes the time to get to know you.  so instead build your confidence by working on those things that you feel you need to work on, chances are even if you are being hard on yourself (which we all have done at some time or another) you are on to something.
3. don’t get discouraged when you don’t get immediate results anddon’t lessen what you are looking for just to be off the market.  let me elaborate:  I’m not saying that only accepting a doctor who’s 6′-3″ in perfect physical condition who could be a model and is comfortably in the six figure range is what you should do. . . (I’m hoping you find it though).  what I’m saying is that if you are looking for a relationship be okay with that and don’t settle for flings.  I’ve met men who could tell I wanted something serious and they just weren’t there, we respectfully wen’t our own ways without wasting each others time and guess what, no one had hard feelings or any baggage.  the reality is that you can’t have the right relationship with the wrong guy, both things have to be right as does the timing.  if he’s just looking for fun let him find it, elsewhere, otherwise you will just be wasting your time.
   on the flip side of this, if you know that you’re really looking for something casual why beat yourself up about it just because everyone is asking you when you’re going to get married.  this is your life and if you are content to have fun right now ~ do it.  I just say you should know why you’re doing what you’re doing.
4. do not be afraid of your inner bad girl, freak or porn star. we are sexual creatures and if you’re going to go there, GO there.  by now you should be comfortable with you and what you like and if you are looking to find that comfort you won’t if you stick with you’re same basics.  my thinking is that if you can’t open up with someone sexually you should keep your legs closed.
5. be comfortable. with you, with your life, and with him.  I think that is a great place to start, an honest place to start, and when you’ve got the right beginning you just might get the ending that you’ve been looking for or you may find one that you had never imagined.

okay, so there are five things that I might tell some of my good friends that are looking but that haven’t asked.  probably good advice for all ages but for those of us who aren’t twenty-something (when no one has kids or is married or is in that serious of a relationship) the game is different now.  dating should have somewhat of a purpose to it if you know that you want a particular outcome.  you need to keep yourself up and you need to get your stuff together if for no other reason to return that glow of invincibility that you felt when you were 20, on a grown woman (or man for that matter) that’s a great look!

it was a great game and despite a rocky start, they did it. it hit me this morning that I had been nudged away from my usual stance, skepticism had snuck in on logic’s coat tail and I got in the safe line of status quo. so when I heard her praise her team I was reminded that many of us want to break out of this rut and that this was a sign to keep on pushing forward until the upset is in our favor and we officially become one of the big dogs.

optimistic, creative, passionate, intimate, pure, my truth, progressive, edgy . . .   :) sometimes.  these are some of the words that come to mind when I think of what it is that I want my blog to be and what purpose I feel that it should have.  I’d love it if great or at least interesting conversations were had here because as much as I think of myself I’ve met many that I hold just as high.

so where is this coming from?  if you’ve read then you know that I’m rethinking my site all together (along with a number of things in my life) and I follow a number of blogs that are about building a better site.  well a site is its content.  one of today’s article was on connecting with your audience and while it was geared towards blogs that sell things, at least the verbage was, the reality is that I’m trying to get you to spend some of your precious time on my site.

for a while I felt like I was doing well with the frequency of posts but then something happened and I don’t know that I can just call it a slump but I was finding that I just didn’t have as much that I wanted to share with the world.

sure, I’d love to post a cool tutorial on how I did something; but to be honest I haven’t finished too much lately that seems all that interesting.  well.  I did make a decision to try some new things, I do this from time to time, I try new things where there is already an existing thing that I like but feel that a little change might keep things fresh.  getting stuck in a rut or pattern of doing things doesn’t bring me the comfort that it does many.  well sometimes it does but even within those patterns I prefer a good deal of spontaneity.  it’s just the way that I am and while there have been a few that I’ve offended by this way of being for the most part the people around me get it.

I’m going
to
practice being
in the momentand I guess that’s where some of the problems have been.  I really don’t want to blog about whether I do or don’t make it to the gym.  I don’t want to write product endorsements unless I’m really really blown away by something and truth be told do you even care what my favorite toothpaste is or what body lotion I use.  and if you do, doesn’t that put you in a category of weird that I just really don’t want to know about?!?

so since I’m not wanting to share all my neurotic tendencies then what am I doing?  I don’t know.  I used to write a lot of poems but them I realized that I wrote the best stuff when my heart was torn wide open or when it was experiencing new highs.  yeah, I actually said aloud that I don’t really want to write poetry anymore because I just don’t want to feel so hurt that something beautiful pours out of me.

I’ve been following “fuel your blogging” and there’s a lot of good advice on there.  at least it sounds like good advice, whether it’s making your blog indispensable or stepping up the quality of posts.  both of these make perfect sense, I’m sure I read something about having a purpose.  and that’s my starting point.  it’s time to redesign this blog, not just aesthetically but also to redefine it’s purpose.  goals will be established and deadlines will be met.  instead of a meandering sort of thing that comes and goes whenever I have something dieing to get off of my chest there will be purpose and thought, intent. . . and hopefully in time an established site will emerge with readers and everything.

it’s not just the blog, it’s everything and I can’t say that it has nothing to do with this time of year.  something about coming out of longer nights makes me want to push harder to see light.  I set goals and truth be told have the determination and energy to see them through.  I did great things last year and have plans for this year too.  so stick with me.  I’m sure this will still be a lifestyle blog but when I’m writing I will be in that moment writing and that’s all that time will be for.

while I’m venting, I’m trying to or considering switching to using Picasa for my image gallery but I think that I made something private at some point in time so that’s not working.

I guess all this just says that it really is time for me to redo my theme and give birth to my second lovechild (this is a child theme based on Thematic by Themeshaper).  I’ve been using this theme for more than a year so I doubt that is the problem.

back to the first thing, has anyone else had this happen before?  I haven’t installed any new plug-ins, wordpress hasn’t updated and basically nothing has changed?!?!?

. . . great

the recent giveaway that I’ve seen is entitled “My Favorite Things Giveaway” and when I thought about some of the little jewles that I often tell people about or that I would like to share with people I came up with:

1. Burts Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Creme:  not only does this stuff smell amazing it will soften your cuticles and strengthen your nails but I think that the lemon in here helps to whiten your nails too.

2. a “Quoteable Quotes” card:  I love these things.  just the other day I bought three of them (and one envelope) and the guy at the register pointed that out to me, I told him that they are all for me and really I’m just getting the envelope just in case I need one at a later time.  my current favorite quote, though I do own a few of these, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

3. a gift card to Argo Tea:  I do think that even for non-tea drinkers there is something in this place that will appeal to you unless of course you are simply not willing to try  something different.  just today I tried their “Valintea” which is hibiscus and passion fruit and was very pleasantly surprised.  my favorite though is an “Earl Gray Vanilla Creme” but I have been known to switch it up from time to time.

4. Dove Dark Chocolate bar:  I cannot emphasize this enough, I LUUUVVV dark chocolate, the way it excites my taste buds and then melts away into a beautiful finish that leaves me satisfied even though often time my insatiable self has more . . . this is a great chocolate for cheap!  Hershey’s Special Dark is just too sweet but the Dove bar isn’t bitter, it’s just perfect for a deep chocolate craving.

5. tickets to the Siskal Film Center: I haven’t gone yet but I will. you can catch an indie or foreign flick, have a glass of wine before or after the film and enjoy a cultural adventure in downtown Chicago that many have probably never even thought of.

6. my sixth and you were only asked to have five would be Sandstone by L.U.S.H. Cosmetics:  I wrote a piece on this, mainly because the caricature of the guy on the sticker who made my soap was funny looking but really this soap is AMAZING, so long as you don’t mind a little sand in the tub.

so I’m not giving anything other than a heart felt endorsement but there’s my list of favorite things that if nothing else always put a smile on my face.  simple little indulgences (like a brand new lip gloss) that I’m happy to have found since none of them are really main stream.

so tell me, what are some of your favorite things?