immortality & rebirth

maybe it really is possible to be reborn, at any given moment you can make a conscious decision to change your life.  the change the way that you do things, the places that you frequent, the company that you keep.  this is really a lot easier than you might think, I know because I’ve done it, I’m looking to do it again.

here-in lies
the
problem, I
discovered the freedom
of choice.I feel restless where I am and I know that it has to do with more than extremely cold weather.  I’m at a place that just doesn’t feel like home, don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot here that I love but I feel like something is missing.

you can be reborn but like in the discussions of reincarnation, you don’t remember or have access to your past lives ~ that’s the cost.  every time you start over, you have to start over and after a while you can find yourself missing some things that you know you should have, you just can’t really put your finger on what it is that they are.

immortality, that’s another conscious choice.  you simply don’t move on, like the 50 year old dj that knows all the songs that 20 somethings listen to, he’s not living the normal 50 year old life and while some may cheer him on, he might also be missing out on typical things like watching his children become adults, he might not even have a partner from years of partying for a living.  at some point being Peter Pan has got to suck.

I’ve been thinking, a lot.  I have to be honest with myself in that I’m tired and this next move should be my last move for a while.  I want those things that you get with roots, even if it means sometimes not being to flow with the wind, I’d like to stay still for a while and see what the wind brings to me.  but maybe that’s the problem, maybe it’s just not meant for me to stay still, maybe it’s for me to make appearances . . . I hope not, it’s not as glamorous as it seems.  the choice of less choices is almost more appealing than all those lovely options